I noticed several things while I was talking to people -things that tick me off and I myself should try not to do, to be more specific.
Suppose someone say "I'm so tired... I didn't get much sleep last night." You would probably ask what time he/she went to bed. Upon hearing that he/she went to sleep at 2 a.m., several responses are available.
a) "That's not bad. I hit the bed at 4!"
b) "I did that too. Well, whenever I'm tired in the morning, I do such and such."
c) "That must be really difficult. Wanna grab some coffee?"
How many people, one might wonder, respond with C? Most of us would choose either A or B because it diverts the direction and gives US the chance to talk about OURSELVES.
You might justify that you're just trying to carry on the conversation, rather than ignoring what the person is saying. But in my experience, when somone does that in front me, it really pisses me off, because I'm the one who began the talk in the first place and somehow it has flown into someone else's direction.
A is a quite pompous way to respond, as you probably have noticed already. I believe there is no explanation needed.
B is a hypocritical response because it's pretending like it's listening to/understanding what the other person is saying yet trying to dominate the conversation very subtly. The latter part, the offering of advice, would be acceptable if it were to occur after listening to the person first for a bit. Then the advice would mean "Now that I've listened to your problem and that your attemp to solve it has failed, I would like to offer what was effective for me," instead of "I'll give you what you need so be quiet."
All these thoughts occured to me on the way to the Castle with my friend in the morning... It's very interesting how my brain works - how scrutinizing it is...
